The Right To Know
I was recently reading an article in the newspaper. There was a young man asking why he needed to attend the wedding of a cousin, he didn't know very well. He saw their relationship as one that barely existed. Due to this fact he was having difficultly with his own wedding list. This got me thinking about the struggle of marriage.
In planning a wedding we have the thought that we are in total control all the time. However, the reality is there are too many factors involved to control everything all the time. What right do we have to know everything about everything? Things happen we don't always want to know. Things happen that we have to know.
For example: A groom carries his phone in his pocket and he is on the phone constantly during his wedding with everyone questions. How are you feeling? What are you thinking? What are you doing? Where are you? What time do I need to be there. His people calling him with all the details they all ready have. They received the invitation and instructions before. Why do they (his people) have the right to know.
For example: A bride is getting dressed for her wedding day. The most important day of her life. What happens, the hair and make people are working on her and the phone starts working. She ask her bridesmaid to answer the phone. The bridesmaid talks to the person with hesitation. The bride answers the phone. What do you want I just gave you the answer to the question and it didn't satisfy you. Now she's yelling stressed out cause her makeup is ruined. What gives that person the right to know. Could it have waited until the appropriate time.
We hesitate on things when we don't want to deal with another persons stuff. The reality is we have the choice on what we want to deal with and what we don't. So, how do we know when it is right and when it is not to bother a person with your right to know. When we have a clear intention towards a person we don't mind attending their events. If you would attend a friends wedding, then you should be willing to attend your cousin's wedding even if you don't know them very well.
Clear your conscience of all the "my right" think of the other person at the moment. The invitation was about their right. To have family attend their wedding. Even if the invitation was sent because you are the child of ..... The person sending it had the right of refusal. If they didn't want you there they would not have sent you an invitation. If you question it call them up and ask. Ask them if they really want you to attend or are they just inviting you because you know.....your related to... That's integrity.
If you have a dysfunctional family like most of us do. You think it is healthier to stay away from that person, then don't invite them. It is important to think of yourself, your future, as well as whether d.the other person health and future. Wedding and events is not the time to make amends with others. It defiantly is a way of putting pass things away and having an enjoyable moment in time together. If you don't think that can be accomplished, then do what is right, correct and good.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
1. Will we both enjoy are time together?
2. Will it create a scene?
3. Behavior past, present future be affected?
Know what is important for you and your new families future. Some thing, just should be left alone and forgotten.